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March 20, 2001
EXPOSITORY PATTERNS--PART VII
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DESCRIPTION
Descriptive writing uses sensory details to paint a clear picture of a focused topic, whether it be a concrete noun (like a favorite quilt), or an abstract idea (such as your relationship with a best friend).
Sensory description appeals to the five physical senses: taste, touch, sound, scent, and sight. Adding effects like dialog, action, scene-painting, or measurements can heighten a reader's comprehension or appreciation of the subject. Imagine, for example, describing a beautiful Spring afternoon without appealing to the senses. The writing probably would be dull and lifeless:
There's nothing like a warm April afternoon following a brief rain shower. Flowers are budding and the temperature is comfortable. The air seems fresh and clean.
Sounds stale, doesn't it? There is little to enliven our senses. A passage like this one could be heightened with details about the scents and sights of the season:
The gentle strokes of a purifying April shower soothe the thawing earth with a promise that warm sunshine soon will follow. Daffodils nod mild assent as the last few drops trickle from fleecy clouds. A caressing breeze nudges fragile dogwood blossoms in passing, like a mother's soft fingers on her infant's cheek.
Most writing includes some form of description, whether it be the simple facts of an objective observation or a passionate discourse on a controversial topic. Objective writing uses factual language to convey a general impression. Subjective writing colors an impression with personal bias which implies a particular mood or emotion. Look at the differences in word choice below:
Objective: obese
Subjective: fat
Objective: underweight
Subjective: skinny
Objective: girl
Subjective: bimbo
Objective: boy
Subjective: jock
The way we describe something not only says a lot about how we view the topic, but it also influences our readers' perceptions.
Intensive description is used in medical writing, police reports, psychological evaluations, social workers' investigations, and many other types of writing. Keep in mind that while generally it is helpful to use plentiful detail, we must use caution in selecting the most accurate and most appropriate word to fit the subject.
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CHECK OUT OUR "SEARCHABLE" INDEX
Subscribers to GrammarCheck can search past issues of GrammarCheck for topics of interest at
http://www.grammarcheck.com/archives
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SPELLING OR WRITING TIP
Idioms are words that, when combined, mean something other than their original, individual meanings. Be sure to use idioms correctly, and when unsure, use a dictionary. Check your knowledge by choosing one from each of the following sets:
1. I was (angry at)(angry with) Tony.
2. A soldier at the camp was (charged of)(charged with) the crime.
3. Betty went (in search for)(in search of) a Mexican restaurant.
4. You must (try and)(try to) improve your grades.
5. He's the wrong (type of a)(type of) boyfriend for you.
Look for answers in next week's issue.
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NEW WORD OF THE WEEK:
GANGLING (gan'gling) adjective: tall, thin, and ungraceful.
Tom turned into a gangling boy when he became an adolescent.
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YOUR GRAMMAR AND WRITING QUESTIONS
QUESTION: Hey, I think your web page is really cool. I am a young English teacher and I would love it if you could send me some exercises on grammar for P.E.T. level. It would be really nice to have the keys as well. Thank you, Martin.
GRAMMARCHECK: Sorry, Martin, but we don't provide specific grammar exercises or keys. However, we recommend using a helpful grammar handbook such as the BRIEF ENGLISH HANDBOOK or THE LITTLE, BROWN HANDBOOK, either of which can be found at your local bookstore. Or you can browse our site for additional titles. Good luck!
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QUESTION: Which of the following is correct verb usage:
1. The systematic daily checks provide quality control data that is used.
-or-
2. The systematic daily checks provide quality control data that are used.
GRAMMARCHECK: Both examples are correct. The word "data" is a non-count (also called "collective") noun which nowadays can take either a plural or singular verb. In formal writing it is more often used as a plural form, but the singular form is widely used as well. The singular form of "data" is "datum."
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QUESTION: Hello folks. I love your column. I have learned a lot from your postings. Thanks for doing a superb job.
I am sure you probably have or will get some questions on your newsletter of March 13. In that newsletter you mentioned that "got" is past tense and past participle of "get." I thought that the past participle of "get" was "gotten." Please clarify.
GRAMMARCHECK: We accept your praise with humble thanks. Your question helped us realize that we did not do a thorough job of explaining this usage. Let's give it another try.
1. "Got" is the past tense of "get":
Present tense: Paul and Terry get to leave early.
Past tense: Paul and Terry got to leave early.
Present tense: Larry gets a new car this month.
Past tense: Larry got a new car this month.
2. "Got" also is the past participle of "get":
Present tense: Sheila gets the last piece of pie.
Past tense: Sheila got the last piece of pie.
Past participle: Sheila had got the last piece of pie.
3. "Gotten" also is the past participle of "get":
Present tense: Timothy gets upset over his math quizzes.
Past tense: Timothy got upset over his math quizzes.
Past participle: Timothy had gotten upset over his math quizzes.
-or- Timothy had got upset over his math quizzes.
Many people use "got" and "gotten" interchangeably, while others maintain "got" for simple past tense and reserve "gotten" for use as a past participle.
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QUESTION: This is a word of appreciation and encouragement. I smile when I see your "word of the week" because that's about what I can learn, although I also subscribe to "Word of the Day" by Merriam-Webster. What makes me smile is that weekly I meet with a young Chinese woman to help her with her conversational English. She is studying for the GRE exam and she is learning 200 words a day! She says that in China they learn to memorize and this is not hard for her (although a bit boring). I asked her about the math and science part of the test, for which she doesn't seem to be studying. She said she learned all that in middle school!
When you discuss expressions that differ for writing and conversation as you did this week with "got," it is a helpful reminder for me.
Norma_____
Associate Professor Emeritus
_____ University
GRAMMARCHECK: Your encouragement is much appreciated, especially when it comes from someone in your position. (We have protected your anonymity to prevent a deluge of contacts from other eager ESL learners!)
It's encouraging to hear that you are helping a Chinese student learn correct English in preparation for the GRE exam. What a kind and effective use of your time. It's interesting how cultures vary in the way that education is structured because we can hardly imagine an American student not needing to study math and science for this challenging test!
Thanks for letting us know that this feature is helpful. We'll continue trying to provide useful material in the future!
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QUESTION: Using spell check, this statement comes up as grammatically incorrect. Can you tell me why?
With sarcasm and hate in her voice she spat the reply, "What, no hello for me Stefan. Oh and this is Mark.?"
GRAMMARCHECK: We see a few problems with this statement. The first quoted question should include a question mark. Also, it is unclear whether the second quoted statement is a declarative sentence or a question. Finally, though you've included both period and question mark at the end of the sentence, only one is needed, depending on whether the statement is interrogative or declarative. Here's how we would punctuate it:
With sarcasm and hate in her voice she spat the reply, "What, no hello for me, Stefan? Oh, and is this Mark?"
-or-
With sarcasm and hate in her voice she spat the reply, "What, no hello for me, Stefan? Oh, and this is Mark."
-or-
With sarcasm and hate in her voice she spat the reply, "What, no hello for me, Stefan? Oh, and this is Mark?"
There are other possibilities as well, but be careful with punctuation.
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