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March 21, 2000
EXCLAMATION POINTS
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Use an exclamation point (!) to show surprise or pleasant emotion in a written message. However, avoid overusing exclamation points in business communication and avoid their use in formal documents as they tend to convey an informal tone.
EXAMPLES:
Weak: Restrooms will be closed for renovation for the next ten days!
Better: Restrooms will be closed for renovation for the next ten days.
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Weak: The annual report will be published at the end of the month!
Better: The annual report will be published at the end of the month.
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WRITING TIP: SENTENCE COMBINING
We continue our series of writing tips that can make your writing more professional. Part One of this first tip was to eliminate "to be" verbs (is, are, was, were, to be, be, being, been) WHEN POSSIBLE, and Part Two involved eliminating "to have" verbs (have, has, had, having, to have) when possible. Part Three involved eliminating "expletives" (pronoun + "to be" verb) and other unnecessary pronouns (who, that, which, etc.).
We now begin Part One of our second tip--sentence combining--which involves combining two or more sentences into fewer sentences (for example, combining 2 sentences into 1 sentence; or combining 3 sentences into 1 or 2 sentences; and so forth).
TWO SENTENCES: Martha wanted to go downtown. Bill wanted to visit relatives.
COMBINED SENTENCE: Martha wanted to go downtown, but Bill wanted to visit relatives.
Why should the original two sentences be combined? Because short, choppy sentences like these slow readers down and make the text dull to read. (A period requires a longer "pause" than a comma.) Compare the following examples:
EXAMPLE #1: Martha loves to knit. She loves to knit red and blue sweaters. She only makes them for her children. Bob likes to sew the buttons on the sweater. Martha asks him to do the sewing since he sews better than she.
EXAMPLE #2: Martha loves to knit red and blue sweaters for her children, while Bob likes to sew buttons on them since he sews better than Martha.
Notice how Example #2 reads more smoothly while Example #1 slows down the reader. Sentence combining helps make your writing more professional.
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HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO COMBINE SENTENCES?
For the next three weeks, we'll learn six writing patterns that should cause you to question whether sentence combining is needed. Here are the first two patterns:
PATTERN #1: LOOK FOR WORD REPETITION
IT wasn't the gifts. IT couldn't have been the unexpected visit. IT was the expression on her face that caused my surprise.
Notice how each sentence begins with the same word--"It." This repetition, a classic sign that sentence combining is needed, may have been used by the writer to build suspense, but for most cases of repetition, suspense is not the main reason why repetition is used. In this example, the three sentences could be combined into two sentences--or even one.
COMBINED INTO TWO SENTENCES:
It wasn't the gifts or the unexpected visit that caused my surprise. It was the expression on her face.
COMBINED INTO ONE SENTENCE:
It wasn't the gifts or unexpected visit that caused my surprise but the expression on her face.
As a result of sentence combining, the original three sentences--22 words in length--have been reduced to one sentence of 17 words, a 23% reduction in sentence length. Sentence combining not only made the text sound better by eliminating repetition, but it also made the text more efficient.
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PATTERN #2: LOOK FOR PHRASE REPETITION
I ENJOY THE type of weather Spring brings. I also ENJOY THE feeling of togetherness among family members.
Notice how each sentence begins with a similar phrase--"I enjoy the" versus "I also enjoy the." These sentences could be combined into one sentence.
COMBINED INTO ONE SENTENCE:
I enjoy the type of weather Spring brings and the feeling of togetherness among family members.
As a result of sentence combining, these two sentences were combined into one sentence, resulting in an 11% reduction in text length.
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FOR PRACTICE:
1. Choose a one-page letter or one page from a multi-page document you have written and find any instances of word and/or phrase repetition. Combine sentences if necessary.
2. Combine the following four sentences into three sentences:
He was really something else. He brought candy for me and bought me a card. He was on his way to college, so I bought him a daily planner. He is quite the comedian, so I bought two rolls of really cheap tape and wrapped both rolls around his already wrapped gift, one going each way.
3. Combine the following two sentences:
The best sporting event to attend in the area is ice hockey. Ice hockey can be dangerous for spectators, though.
Possible answers for Practice #2 and #3 are posted on the GrammarCheck web site at
http://www.grammarcheck.com/answers/32100.htm
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YOUR GRAMMAR AND WRITING QUESTIONS:
QUESTION: I have a verb question. Is this sentence correct? "Several tons of bagged zinc sulfate was abandoned on the site." I have a co-worker who wishes me to use the verb "were" in place of the verb "was." Can you tell me which verb to use and why that verb is the correct one to use?
GRAMMARCHECK: The correct verb is "were" since the subject ("Several tons") is plural. The prepositional phrase ("of bagged zinc sulfate") describes the subject, but the actual subject word is "tons" which is why you need "were" as your verb. The subject and verb must agree in number. Here are four examples that illustrate our explanation more clearly:
Several jars (plural subject) of water were (plural verb) abandoned on the site.
One jar (singular subject) of water was (singular verb) abandoned on the site.
My stash (singular subject) of coke cans was (singular verb) stored in the closet.
My boxes (plural subject) of coke cans were (plural verb) stored in the closet.
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QUESTION: Which of the following statements is correct?
"Please make any suggestions your office might have to enhance the report prior to US submitting it."
"Please make any suggestions your office might have to enhance the report prior to OUR submitting it."
GRAMMARCHECK: The second statement is grammatically correct, since the phrase "submitting it" requires the use of "our" as its possessive pronoun rather than "us" which is the object pronoun.
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QUESTION: Can't commas or periods be used after a quotation mark when the quotation marks are being used, perhaps in an essay, to show sarcasm? For example: It makes me really happy to know you've "reformed".
GRAMMARCHECK: Nope--commas and periods ALWAYS go inside quotation marks. It looks strange, but in English grammar, that's the rule.
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QUESTION: When writing a paper using a quote for your main point, do you need to discuss all that the quote speaks about? For example:
"The key to good health she taught was never to cover up the pulse at the throat. But with the benefit of hindsight, one must believe that for her, as for generations of people after her, in our small farming community, diet played as large a role in her longevity and her health as loose clothing and fresh air."
All that will be discussed is the food we eat with longevity. I have always been of the understanding that the quote should only pertain to that which you write about. And since I'm not discussing fresh air, loose clothing, or even "her," is the above a correct use of a quote?
GRAMMARCHECK: You can use a portion of the quoted statement to suit your focus as long as the portion you use does not change the original meaning of the text. However, your intent to emphasize diet as contributing to longevity may be taking the information out of context. How? The quoted passage states that ". . . diet played as large a role in her longevity and her health as loose clothing and fresh air." In other words, her wearing loose clothing and her breathing fresh air contributed to longevity as much as her diet. In still other words, good old country living contributed to her long life. The quote you mention would not be a good one to reference if you're attempting to link diet and longevity.
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